It's a Gas!

(If you're having trouble seeing these just double click on them and a new window will open with it in full size)

^ My personal favorite^

^also very clever^

They Dumped Me!

Well I'll have to remove Pandora from the site. They broke up with me. Me and all the other Canadians that were having a passionate, musical love affair with them.

They have broken my heart.

My poor musically unsatisfied heart.

Week Long HECK

So yeah, I haven't been posting. Yeah, I know it gets lame when my posts consist of links to other websites......whatever.

For the past week I have had this nasty, persisitent headache or HECK as we call it in my family. Think it's my neck. Think it's my tumor. Think it's allergies. I know that some like to slather the VICKS allover to fix this vexation. Some take all the pills. Some just lay in a quiet, dark room. I have tried all these things but nothing has worked yet. I seem to rememeber this same HECK visiting me at the same time two years ago. A massage helped me then.

It's settled. That's what I need. Tomorow I must set out for that service to be rendered upon me.

The Revealing

No, I won't be posting pictures of me without my 'garmentary' as mentioned in the comments of the previous post, but I now will reveal the source of my recent monetary disappointment. The monetary disappointment in the amount of $27.90.

This past fall I relinquished my former 'factory' clothing to a consignment store in Berrytropolis. In total I surmise that I spent in excess of $500 for these special garments that covered my, now retired, manufacturer of quality products like Sorbet and Nova.

This was a ginormous bag of goods, and all sold, boiled down to less than a spanky new pair of jeans for me. See, they were supposed to give back the unsold merchandise but when I was there they told me it had ALL sold and that was all that I got for it (40% cut). So I left the place of consignment, disillusioned and kinda mad. I had really hoped to get at least enough for some spanky new JEANS!!!

My day was cut short due to funding and I arrived home at a very reasonable hour, only to receive a call from the place - I have decided is my personal charity case for the year and will claim this incident on my taxes as such - saying 'oops! we found your bag of leftover clothes here' and 'can you just come in and pick those up before months end or we'll send them over to another charity case we know called Sally Ann?'

Right. I'll just boogie on in there to pick that up - stat.

Guessing Game.

So guess what this number means to me this week:

27.90

It has a significance. A rather disappointing one at that.

Really! I'm A Deadbeat.

So after yesterday I may be just changing the whole title of this blog and everything I do to 'memoirs of a deadbeat mom'.

I actually MISSED parent watching day at Nova/Hovda's (3 year old daughter) dance class! Yep.

Sorbet had a nap, woke her up from nap to take Hovda (I like that misunderstanding of her name best I think, although no one made a silver spoon with that name on it for her as they did Nova, right, this is deserving of a post...) to her dance lesson and in true deadbeat form as it is a very small town and the temperature is very frigid at the moment I opted to leave my baby in the warm van while I took Hovda in for the lesson. I did it quickly and efficiently and Hovda specifically asked me to let her go in herself and to 'have fun at home' as if she knew it was parent watching day and she wanted me to FAIL! So I obeyed her every word and went home! Totally forgetting about the special day and ONLY day that Momma's get to watch their baby's grow up to be (not cowboy's) but dancers.

I remembered this was happening, unfortunately, long after the class was over and then asked Hovda if the Mommies were there today and she said cheerfully 'yep! and some daddies too!but you weren't there! (ya deadbeat!)'

Annoyed...again

Pictured here is the shower curtain that I ordered online from CanadianTire almost 2 weeks ago. Yes, it's cool. I love the colors and I can't wait to see it so I can get to painting my bathroom!

And here we have a picture of the one that was sent. Also cute but NOT the curtain I ordered!!! What vexes me more is that they didn't REALLY send the wrong one because the product numbers are the same! How does this happen? How many people out there are ordering things online only because they like the pictures and descriptions and then do not receive what they have been anxiously hoping for? If there were color options for the curtain don't you think that should have been advertised? Or does the person putting together the order just say

'hmm, well it's not the right color but I am sure the customer won't mind this color too much'

Anyway, they have to 'start a file' on the incident and try to straighten it out for me. That means it could be a long time before I get my shower curtain. Which means it could be a long time before my bathroom gets painted which means a long time showering in the basement....uggggg!

This is flibirdijibits very frayed online shopping nerve......

Got Milk?

The other day G-Za and I were at our second home, the paddling pool, and I saw, greeted and chatted with a girl who graduated from the same school as me. She doesn’t live here in town anymore but every summer I see her around and she has an adorable little boy.

Nice huh?

So she asks which children are mine and how old they are and how long we’ve lived here and chit-chat-chitty-chat-chit!

Nice huh?

Then my 5 month old started fussing and it was time for a feeding and I did my (or what I thought was a) good mother thing and went over to feed my baby her bottle.

Nice huh?

Then she comes over and grabs a toy out of the box and nonchalantly says “Where’s the breast milk?”

Uh….NOT NICE!!!!!! No - rude! NO - bad!

There are a few things off the top of my head that are wrong with this comment actually there are about 1000 but here are my initial thoughts.

1) You just asked me, a person you had to ask the first name of, at the paddling pool a VERY personal question about secretions that come from a certain personal part of my body.
2) You have just criticized my parenting style and decisions while in the same breath assuming that what I have in the bottle is not the “precious liquid” being inquired on. And also how does she know my baby is not adopted or unable to nurse for some other sad medical reason?
3) You have just intimated to me that you would really just like to see me whip it out right then and there with a detailed anatomy lesson on where the breast milk really is! “Oh it’s right here! I’ll show you! Sure!”

People PEOPLE! There are rules of public conduct that must be followed in this world. I don’t ask for much but please PULLEASE do not:
- ask people where their breast milk is
- reach out and grab at pregnant bellies with out their clear permission and/or invitation also DO NOT ask when the baby is due unless you KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a baby due. This hurts feelings for more reasons than I can count especially if there is no baby and for one reason or another it looks like there is. It's deserving of a whole other rant that is not blogger friendly, at least not my blog. Actually Tamado has a really good post about pregnant woman eitquettte - check it out!http://tamnado.blogspot.com/2006/07/belly-in-public-domain.html

Further More......
- Do not ask people for money they owe in the street or while they are shopping at your store. If you must ask them for the money please be discreet about it.
- And finally there’s this. And this is for all health care professionals out there. Let’s say, for instance, you had a rather large mole on your body and it wasn’t in a place that was really visible for everyone to see…..yah….and you go to the hospital to have it removed and you are in the waiting room with another girl whom you know from Smalltown and the nurse calls you BOTH to come at the same time and interviews you TOGETHER about your non-visible moles that will be removed that day. No. Don’t be that nurse.

That is all.

DEAD BEAT MOM!!!

Well On Friday I went to the local Shop Easy to get a few various and sundry items with my two in tow.....and while I am perusing the aisles the Manager (not an original Townie) approaches me with a bill for some groceries I had charged a while ago (about 2 - 3 weeks) because I had forgotten my purse one day(thispoint does not add to my side of the case I know!) . I knew I had paid it when I saw the bill and the amount because I don't make a habit of charging my groceries and I remember having asked to pay my bill on a different day when I was in for groceries so that's what I told him, thinking he would believe me, say 'okay' and take the bill away. But not.....instead he explains that it doesn't show it's been paid and that he wiil get 'the girls' to check it out. Fine, that's fair. So feeling satisfied that they will discover the proof that I had indeed paid my bill I go about my perusal of cereal on display. Next thing I know this little 'Bull Dog' of a woman comes out of the office with my bill in hand and explains to me that it wasn't recorded that had I paid so I must not have paid it. I then try to explain to Bull Dog my case again: that I know I paid it and someone must have made a mistake and the Bull Dog disagrees and reiterated her point (as I am sure my $34.19 is a very close and personal problem for her) that I must not have paid it because the people that run the cash register do not have access to the book that she is holding in her hand. So I then stop arguing because I am already embarrassed at having my bill confronting me while I am trying to shop and being implied a liar and a dead - beat Mom who doesn't pay her bills and ask "So I should just pay it again then?". Not backing down she once again shows me her book and let's me know it hasn't been paid. So in an effort to stop the embarrassing confrontation and further hold up the days business I respond: 'Fine, I'll just pay it again, it's only $30, whatever."

Afterwards as my groceries that I had selected from the visit were passing through and tallying up I was starting to get really mad about the whole situation;

1) The being approached in front of other shoppers about my outstanding bill which I can't for the life of me understand why it wasn't just mailed to me. If you knw who I am you know how to mail it!
2)The not being believed when I say I already paid it and not given any oppurtunity to really prove that I had - which wouldn't matter any way because I have no proof to speak of other than my memory and my debit transaction from the bank the day I believe I paid it before which wasn't for the amount in question because I was paying for other food as well.
3) The 'big city' attitude towards a very 'small town' situation. I mean if their policy is to let cutomers charge their groceries which is SOOOO small town then in keeping with that policy are they not somehow responsible to trust and give their customers 'credit' in other matters such as this at least one time when I am so obviously adamant that I had already paid? I can see tracking me down and demanding payment on an overdue account if it is clear that I make a habit of not paying my bills.

Anyways, while these points were passing through my mind and my groceries were passing through the scanner I decided to not buy the $50 worth of groceries I had taken off the shelves and cancelled my order and asked, again, to pay the Stupid Bill, thinking 'I won't be shopping here anymore.'

Then I went to the Grands and told them what happened and Gramma was SO MAD! It was hilarious! She wanted to go down there right now and set them straight! 'They'll know who was right when I am done with them! Esmond! Take me down there right now!" It was so sweet to see her upset with them for me!

Anyway, I am not as mad about it now, in all likelyhood (and this is not in anyway an admission that they are right and I am wrong) I probably didn't ever pay the bill ,knowing myself, I just thought I did. I mean I am the girl who goes and buy's the groceries and just leaves them there at the store - because I am towing two and at the moment and especially lately feel quite proud that I get out to do the shopping at all - and I am the girl who goes to the store to buy groceries and forgets my wallet but I am NOT the girl who tries to get out of paying for something I owe! All I have is my memory and it just may not be correct. I am still mad about the way it was handled though. It embarrassed me and made me feel small and untrustworthy in MY town that I grew up in and they are only there because the last two fools that tried to take over the store got fired! So hopefully they do too! I won't be arguing the point about my $30 I think I have paid twice now and have no proof of but I will have to make mention of how poorly that situation was handled somehow me thinks. Sadly, I think I still have to use the store as it's the only one we've got! I need stuff and I can't just be running to the nearby town that's 48 km's away. Sadly, because it's our little small town it has to be set right, at least in my mind.

There! Are you happy Puffy Kracker Daddy Cap'n' Kirk Man? I posted sumpin'.

What the.....?!!!!!

So you know how you can have your 'pooter run a little slideshow on it's screen while you are neglecting it?

Well, you can imagine my horrified surprise when I look over at my (demon possessed) 'pooter and see this image just lackadaisically floating by as if there's nothing wrong with this picture and that it somehow belongs on my screen.....which it does not as I am absolutely freaked out by old creepy dolls! I know there are others of you out there who share this very real fear and also know that my past is speckled with the hauntings of these mean little plastic creations.

I need a moment.....

okay, I think I am ready to perform the exorcism ritual to rid this image from my hard drive.

Where did it come from?!!!!!

There are two kinds of falseys, maybe three: The Good, The Bad and the OOgly.

The Good?

That includes those wonderful little silicone things that resemble uncooked chicken as an alternative to rather invasive and dangerous surgery, those who know what I am talking about you know who you are! It's also great what they can do with fake teeth now too.....porcelain veneers are good falseys. No one wants a real fire alarm so falsey's of those are okay too.

The Bad?

tattooed on eyebrows or eyeliner. Fake moles that are glued on or drawn on and of course counterfeit money. Also, I think it's safe to say that most false hair meant to disguise obvious balding could be classified as 'bad-falsey-ness.'

The Oogly?

That is hands down the 36 week pregnant body tricking you into thinking it's really 'that time' and you've already been to the city and back and have to make your husband drive you back into the city at 11 pm just to be told, finally around 3 am that you have just suffered an episode of false labour!

At least they didn't kick us out of the hospital, they did let us stay for about 4 hours to 'have a little rest' before driving all the way home again. I guess it's just good practice to have a 'dry run' to make sure we know what do before the actual not-so-falsey day. (I hope your catching my sarcasm 'cuz I am laying it on pretty thick.)

So there you have it.....old western movies will always be relevant to our everyday lives.